depressed world 
Yesterday I fell asleep with the rain and raining today I woke up.
The truth is that time seemed to be laughing at me, after so many days could finally go out into the sun and as always, my dear Murphy to show up.
It's funny, but sometimes when I get lost in the streets, I fantasize conversations with him impossible. Usually I ask my explanations of misfortune, but before he could obtain my dreams fade into raucous laughter, or perhaps in the horn of the seat ibiza on duty.
As I was saying, the day dawned gray but that does not stop me from immersing myself in my daily chores, going to do a few errands and despite the rain to escape my house if only to go to the supermarket.
I missed, I missed my people, who already knew the streets and corners that did not want to find out ... and the worst thing he did not want to find me.
I felt that I was haunted by a shadow, and suddenly, to turn the bend of a narrow street I was confronted with his memory, with our childish promises of eternal love, our kisses clumsy and night, the smell of snuff and that rolling words whispered softly in my ear, words I knew were not true but at that moment I longed to hear.
It's funny but I never really thought about it, it's like from the beginning, I had merely to let bygones be bygones and bury all the time, as if it never existed, as if he never made that mistake.
remember the first thing to go was the touch of your hands, then fled the sparkle in his eyes, the sound of his voice and the last thing I left was the smell ...
Like him, everything around him faded quickly, I barely had time to say goodbye to this relationship but the truth is that only began to react to get rid of all traces that had left my house ... covering them under layers of indifference and coldness, concealing what was actually doing and I've never wanted to say ... I really felt vulnerable, I was dying to have had someone with whom to vent that night, a shoulder to mourn a friend who get drunk and arms in which to curl up safe ... maybe that's why I never shed any tears of pride not to admit that "I told you so" that does not stop rattling in my head or by the simple fact that I always wanted to make me strong but never has given me well.
The truth is that I do not know why I'm saying this ... has already spent time and pisses me off having to remember a detestable person under floripondio a fucking umbrella wettest Saturday of the year, fuck me admit that I am alone, lost and vulnerable, but what bothers me is that a guy admit I've been hurt ... again.
And I could not tell if you miss it, because it sounds really disgusting and I never wanted ... was fond of, I do not deny, and had a good time with him ... but never got to love it and if I stayed with him was because being so, in the arms of someone I whispered "I love you" when I wanted to hear, could return to being me, being happy and carefree that Vicky, who apparently needs a fucking asshole to his side to be confident, so in I did everything short of pure selfishness, because I am a lovely person as some believe ... I'm just a spoiled child and in this case, he is not the bad guy ... it did not do things as it should, but it is clear that I did not.
not even know why I write this here, I am not ada to explain but I guess I needed to vent I do not know, these days are getting damn long ...
has not send me away, I guess my head is totally fucked up as ever.
