Sorry for not writing all this time ... say that I had the head and heart a thousand, and have not had a single small hole to get to the blog.
Well, one of the things that have occupied most of my time was my cousin Yaiza.
Yaiza is 23 years old and about six months ago was diagnosed a malignant brain tumor.
Although the operation was a success, has brought consequences.
the prince was at Safety Day, Christmas comes but it got worse ... I could not take any food, because I vomited everything up you mouth and finally, last week went into a coma.
That day I wrote this.
Coward felt that that decision followed him throughout the day. A disyuntiba that rushed over her like a huge, leaden shade. Clouds
texture of asphalt were torn to climb down from the windows of the institute, and the hours they spent anodyne unnoticed, longed for the sound of ringing a quarter to three. Noa
felt like every step you weighed more in the soul, accumulating in the same way that the tar snuff had acceded to his lungs.
came home with her lips no word, his face cut by wind and frost forever and hidden hands in his pockets, the cold trying to escape the poisoned from within, and not even the most ardent of hell could suffocate.
He dropped the bag on the floor, hit a soft slam and went to his room accompanied by the empty echo of footsteps on a narrow marble staircase.
He sat on the bed and pulled a paper from the top drawer of the nightstand.
At the head of folio, with green lettering and calligraphy official reading "Bus Schedule Sevilla-Jaén
With the paper tightly in his hands lay on the bed, leaving the knot that had been feeling all morning stomach spreading across her head up to poison the mind fuck that dilemma.
On the one hand, I felt the need to appear there, to tell everything he felt for her, it was important to support all those years ... I wanted to scream that wanted to hug her and kiss her, confessing everything that had been thinking since childhood and had not dared to say a mixture of shame, fear and respect ...
But every time I re-read the bus timetables reality exploded in his face ... knew he could not talk to her ... would find it weak and withered ... with apparently life ahead and escapándosele dropwise by a probe.
His veins, prominent blue and have much more mileage than it would have made on that trip, always fighting for survival ... from is made or a quarter century, until now.
What would you do? Would subject his dying hand, provided with artificial heat, while clouding your senses with the smell of disinfectant synthetic and ears miss the sound of beating electrocardiogram in the depths of pain.
would see a concerned mother, aunt, impaired, straw-colored and aged terribly ... hug her and try to comfort her repeating the words she herself had recited over and over again in the silence of the night ...
Why? to devote one last look at his lifeless body to the hospital bed, the pale green nightgown hiding a frail and emaciated body, the EKG monitor vital signs recorded a minimum and comatose ... to rub your eyelids to a stop on the tube coming out of his mouth to cover her face as horrified to find nothing left of that beautiful red hair or their eyes ... her beautiful brown eyes, almond ... are not likely to shine anymore ...
Honestly ... and it may sound insignificant, it would not be able to see that ... could not cope with that image and condemn his last memory of it at such a horrible fate ... Noa
felt fear, a fear It is bound up with the idea of \u200b\u200bnot seeing her again more with the inability to say goodbye ... with the selfishness of a loved ... and at the same time horrified and flagged, with the obligation to witness this scene ...
Something made her open her eyes and lost in the ceiling gotelé ... a handful of silent tears started rolling down her cheeks, had begun to rain outside and the raindrops did not stop scratching the glass of sorrow.
I always have panic hospitals ... despite having spent over half his life in them ...
Also, just the day before I had a problem with Diego ... that morning we were phenomenal, I had to present to my classmates and just before dinner he had dismissed me with a handful of kisses and hugs. Arriving afternoon
started talking on msn and started talking with a "Suees compare relationships?" In that moment I realized he was referring to Martha, his ex ... the same ex who has been giving per bag all this time ...
The case is just staying to talk, for one thing or another I said it was illusion, that he felt that something was amiss among us who are bored with me ... but despite all the things I said I wanted to be with me and wanted to fix.
To me, sincerely all So I came at once ... I remember as much tears I jumped while walking.
Huvo a momneto in which he said "look at me please" and I could not ... insisted so I ended up doing and I think he found it hurt him more than me.
After I dried her tears and trying vainly to hold my Contura come to my house.
I said goodbye and I honestly do not remember any kiss it started to rain just as there's no tomorrow and I started running to catch his voice echoing in my head "do not want things to end this way please."
I embraced him in the back and he became very quiet ... and I accompanied a stretch of road until he suddenly stopped short.
"Vicky, let me be honest with you ... really anything that I said before was true ..." At that moment the smile on his lips froze me
"The truth is that this afternoon my sister came and told me that Marta had spoken with her and had asked if we were still together ..." What little was left of her smile fell to the ground to pieces.
From there the conversation went from bad to worse, contradicted all the time and it seemed that I had to choose between two people.
On the one hand I understood what was happening, had taken more than 8 months to get over my ex and he I had scarcely done in two weeks ... Maybe things between us had happened too soon ...
The truth is that not shed a tear, I wanted to be totally objective but I felt that your words get stuck in the soul ...
One day I wrote this:
Crash "Tell me something, tell me how you feel, tell me what you think ... please,
- You know what is the sound produced by the crystals when they hit the asphalt? -
"I can fix a million things ... I can change everything, or stay the same, so I can not do is be herself. I'm not her ... You choose what you want ... What is clear is that look like the idiot meddling in your beautiful love story .- "I do not want this and you know ... if I tell you this is because I want to be with you ... I know I will not find anyone like you What do you want? .- "Maybe for you it would be easier to send you to hell, so you could run to his arms ... I am not anyone's main course ...- "That is well and you know ... What? What we do ... in the background you know that I have not half a pack of clinex .- ...- -Moron ... "Wait please!, What do I do?! I do not know ... do you want?! - "The problem is that ... they do not even know what I ...- The day is dying to break into rain, and finally, the tears were diluted in the silent cries of the last clouds of January.
Different characters, same story.
remember I grabbed her arm and told me she understood ... the problem is that he understood perfectly why I hurt so much ...
I fell in Pereda and threw her head back so that the drops of rain erased any RASR of tears ... not going to let me mourn saw again.
"Understand me, I do not know what do ... It was and I suddenly see you, my sweet Vicky, so small so pretty ... seemed so fragile that you went in an instant .. aromper with that smile, the innocence ... "
We went up to the door of my house, I told him if he wanted to leave and up ... not escape the oportuniodad ... I would still be there as a friend who had not afraid to lose ... that maybe we needed time ...
He turned against me "Do not tell me that, I do not want time ... I do not want to lose you, the problem is that I do not even know ... fuck "put his hands to his head again" does not want things to end up like this ... I do not want "and he burst into tears ... and I stopped s eme heart ...
He kissed me and whispered that he did not want this just so I gave him a hug and sat on the stairs in the rain watching his silhouette slowly lost behind the curtain of water.
few days and just went running to "talk".
He greeted me a kiss on the lips and felt the confusion I felt.
He wanted my hands and I reuía own, trying to find my ojosy I memorized each of the tiles in the street and so it began to rain.
The conversation was normal until then, as two friends who meet one evening ... but with the taste of your lips burning on mine ... well, as I said we started to rain and taken refuge in a doorway, I sat leaning against a column, and he in front of me, "he said," vicky, vic, victoria, look at me "and for the first time I realized I could not watch it ... was as if a steel plate that allowed me to look into his eyes.
And I got nervous and did the usual, I bit my lip and began to spin the hair ... I guess it's easy to know what you think if my movements are memorized ... Almost whispering
said "on the Monday ..." and feel like something is taking you away from the inside, up from the stomach to the face and making the eyes burn and they are willing to mourn but I restrained myself and started talking total quiet.
He told me to come, derrepente had a meter away from us ... he put his hand behind his shoulders and he fell on his chest, had made a decision. According to him he realized that he wanted to be with me, but only with me in a relationship where I would think full. I wanted to leave the past and start fresh with me, to forgive him and he was not going to put my virtues list ... I was just going to decirque was what he wanted and to hell else.
"What do you think?" In all that time had not opened his mouth, think or breathe.
I replied that if that was what quieria agree, but he did not want secrets, I wanted to know the truth forever ... ... and hugged me and kissed my hair and asked me as we spoke at least 5 or 10 minutes a day because I wanted to know about me and being present in my life, my life painful and boring I replied.
He laughed.
"you idiot"
and kissed.
A few days later I learned that Yaiza was awake, was conscious and lucid. It took a peach juice and doctors said that even he was in a better mood. And while there is a risk that Caceres has spread to your bloodstream more of their body ... which is alive is enough for me ....
Diego a week later and I did a month. We have our best and our less, but gradually I feel that things are going forward ... I have afraid, very afraid, and frankly every time I think that Wednesday's rain in the portal I wonder if I gave him a second chance, or I gave it to me ... And although cosasvayan improving ... fear is there ... is there.
One day I wrote this: Back
tests are back, back high-dose insomnia, anemia again, fighting at home again ... but also makes the sun on the skin, old friends, the extra wool jerseys giants, movies with popcorn, family and especially Sundays ... the roll of drums, that taste in the mouth, those words that cost ... but quite often goes without saying them, that glint in his eyes and that smile of idiot down my window every time I see you down the street.
30 days ... even if they happened a million things, I have flown ... The best part? it's like if time runs between us, only I seem to feel when you leave me with a kiss on the doorstep ... otherwise, I have this strange feeling of confidence and normalcy to floods every time that things are going well ... as my mother "to me is as if he had a lifetime" as you said you "and having many, many, many months"
yesterday for the first time I said I love you ...
yesterday for the first time and hiding his face with his hands diej that I wanted.
not laugh a few minutes, I blushed and kissed me.
On Ana and Mia ... I got a fright day I started throwing up blood ... but it happened. My days are
fasts alternating with bulimia and, frankly, I'm doing pretty well. Noto
I lose weight, the bones mark me, but at the same time I feel shaky, I do not know ... I would love to exercise but I feel exhausted ... partly because of anemia, in part po insomnia (when you stop eating because you're feeling insomnia) and do not know ... I have little more to say for now apart from that I am fucking huge ... less huge than normal but huge at the end of the day.
And since studies burdened with many tests and little desire to study ... next week it's my Italian inetrcambio going to be fun, and eat alone as I miss a week of meals ^ ^
With Friends ... the truth I'm drifting a bit, among which I do not go from not eating or vomiting and that what little I leave it to Diego, you could say I'm losing my social life uu The only hope left was girls will meet at monthly , and have done a day when I am traveling ... have behaved a little foxes but you can not do anything ...
also my best friend is now wrong with drugs and stuff ... is slightly hooked and pufff the situation quite beyond me, because I lost a friend like that ...
Today I'm not going to leave any advice or mine ana instead I speak of dreams and their interpretation.
I have ever dreamed that I fell all the teeth and according to this page
http://www.euroresidentes.com/suenos/diccionario_d.htm
means:
Dreams where your teeth fall out are very common and there are several interpretations depending on the person and situation. The teeth represent security in ourselves - are a symbol of our happiness (smile) and appearance. Dreaming about their teeth fall out is the fear of looking ridiculous in real life. It lacks the security needed to perform a specific job and is concerned that others laugh at you. In teeth dreams represent strength - use them to bite, tear, chew ... In this sense, if in your dream you fall or are broken, it means that real life feel, that others can not hear your opinion on a particular topic or in general. Maybe you're in a situation or relationship that makes you feel insecure. Must regain self-confidence, and learn to express their views and ideas with greater determination. On the other hand, if you dream that your teeth are filling cavities and tear, means you must take care at work. Some offer a different interpretation of this dream - the person who dreams of rotten or broken teeth regrets having told a lie or a calumnidad.
I hope you find interesting page ^ ^ no-calorie sweet kisses my princess!
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